"The Fix"

Updated: Apr 3, 2020

I was inspired to write this poem as a reflection regarding those of us that fall prey to

depression, suicide, and/or substance abuse. At some point along life's journey; something

gets broken whether there was an absent parent growing up due to divorce or death. Maybe,

one becomes broken due to molestation, bullying, or other factors that we may not even be aware

of that negatively impacted our life's journey increasing emotional pain. Maybe, one experienced

a significant injury that increased physical pain.

I like to reflect on an episode of "The Brady Buncy" as the kids were playing and broke their mom's vase. The fear induced anxiety as they tried their best to fix the vase and hide the accident.

Well, they did get the vase put back together yet was not completely fixed. Their mom went to

put water in the vase and the water seeped through the cracks; the kids were busted! I wonder, if they simply would have broke the silence rather than trying to hide the accident then maybe the vase could have been restored/fixed.

At times, some of us as broken vessels attempt to find a quick/fast remedy to a fix. Sometimes, we try to hide brokenness of our emotions; depression, fears, chaos, and anxiety. Some of us try to fix the brokenness on our own.

However, when troops of an army go into battle; they never go onto the battlefield alone. So, you do not need to fight on the battlefield alone to find restoration or the fix. I recall experiencing a near death experience on February 22, 2010 as someone swapped out my meth and injected me with

heroin. I remember passing out inside of a gas station and waking up to the EMT. I refused to go to the hospital and went to my car. I grabbed a hold of my steering wheel and began to scream, "God,

I can't do this anymore" I was sobbing as I prayed and was given the passage of scripture in

Exodus Chapter 17 which allowed me to understand that I did not need to fight my battles


It is okay to ask for help! If you feel that cannot run, walk, or crawl; allow someone to pick you up off

the battlefield. We can find victory and restoration. Maybe, you might be struggling as you read this

blog. There is hope! Break the silence as you reach out to someone you trust. If you feel like you have no one you can trust; reach out to professionals such as a pastor, licensed psychologist, counselors, etc. These professionals are mandated to confidentiality unless you are going to hurt yourself or someone else.

Again, be encouraged today that there is hope!

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